Title: Solutions to Life’s Problems: Relationships, Money, and More (Focusing Only on How You Live)
When life doesn’t go as planned, when things don’t go your way, it’s easy to suffer and struggle. However, according to scholar Seikan Kobayashi, there are two simple solutions to dealing with life when things don’t go as you want. These two solutions can be life-changing. Let’s dive into these two methods and see how they can help improve your life.
First Solution: Accept that life doesn’t go the way you want
The first thing Kobayashi teaches is that “life doesn’t go the way you want.” If you begin by accepting that life won’t go as you expect, then you won’t feel as much frustration when things don’t turn out the way you hoped. Many of us harbor strong expectations of others and the world around us, and when those expectations aren’t met, we feel disappointment. But by embracing the mindset that “it won’t go your way,” you reduce your suffering.
Second Solution: Let go of expectations
The second solution is “letting go of expectations.” Often, we carry desires for things to unfold in a certain way, but if we let go of those desires, we won’t face disappointment. Though this might sound abstract at first, it can be applied to daily life. In relationships, for example, by not holding on to ideas like “they should be this way,” you can avoid unnecessary stress when people don’t behave the way you hoped.
Applying this to relationships
Relationships are a common source of stress for many people. Whether it’s with family, friends, or coworkers, we often want the people around us to act according to our own values. But we cannot control others. Here, the first solution becomes valuable: by recognizing from the start that “people won’t act according to your expectations,” you can release those expectations, leading to less stress in relationships.
The importance of changing yourself
Kobayashi emphasizes that instead of trying to change others, you should focus on changing yourself. No matter how angry or upset you become, it rarely changes others. However, you do have the power to change how you respond to situations. When you maintain a calm and peaceful mindset, those around you will often reflect that energy, leading to improved relationships.
Buddhist teachings and self-transformation
This idea is closely related to Buddhist teachings. Buddha taught, “It is enough to attain enlightenment yourself.” Similarly, Kobayashi stated, “What matters is only how you live.” Your peaceful and happy state of mind will positively influence those around you. On the other hand, negative attitudes like anger and discontent can spread and worsen situations. The German poet Goethe once said, “The greatest sin of humankind is discontent.” Discontent, once it begins, spreads from person to person, negatively impacting relationships.
Dealing with money concerns and letting go of attachment
Just like relationships, money can also become a source of suffering. Many people feel anxiety over not having enough money. But, again, Kobayashi’s two solutions can be applied. First, accept that money doesn’t always come as expected. Second, let go of excess desires. By releasing attachments to wealth, money may begin to flow more naturally into your life. This is what Kobayashi refers to as the “reversed structure of the universe.”
Accepting that life won’t go your way
Life will not always go the way we want. This is where many of our struggles come from. When you encounter a challenge, remember these two solutions. They can help lighten your burden and provide relief. By applying these principles in your daily life, you can achieve a more peaceful and fulfilling existence.
Conclusion: Focus only on how you live
Finally, Kobayashi repeatedly emphasizes the importance of focusing only on how you live. You cannot change others, but you can change yourself. By accepting that life won’t always go your way and letting go of attachment, you can find peace of mind. And that peace will radiate outward, improving your relationships and your overall quality of life.
Thank you for reading until the end. I hope this post can be of some help in your life. If you enjoyed the content, please give it a thumbs up and subscribe to the channel. I look forward to seeing you in the next time!