How to Be Happy—Whether You Marry or Stay Single
A Buddhist Perspective on Living Without Regret
Introduction: The Universal Question—“Should I Get Married?”
In modern society, marriage is often viewed as something we must do. Parental expectations, social pressure, and age-related anxieties push many into this decision. But is marriage truly necessary?
From a Buddhist point of view, the issue isn’t whether marriage is good or bad, but whether it helps purify your heart. Marriage is not a source of happiness—it is merely a choice among many in life.
1. Don’t Choose Marriage Just Because “Everyone Says So”
Most people unconsciously make life decisions based on others’ opinions. But as Ven. Samitha Thero says:
“If you marry because society says so, will society take responsibility for your problems? No.”
Only you are responsible for your life. Let no one else dictate your choices.
2. Marriage Can Be a Spiritual Practice
Buddhism sees life itself as a training ground. In marriage:
You must let go of selfishness
Think of your partner’s happiness first
Learn to compromise and be humble
This is exactly the practice of reducing ego and desire. If done with the right mindset, marriage becomes a noble path of practice.
3. A Single Life Can Also Be Fulfilling
Remaining single doesn’t mean your life is incomplete. In fact:
You have more time to reflect inwardly
Fewer social obligations
Freedom to focus on meditation or spiritual growth
Ven. Thero says:
“Whether married or single, you can purify your heart—even while playing with your cat.”
4. Regret Comes Not From Choices, But From Attachment
People regret both marrying and staying single. But regret arises not from choices, but from attachment:
To the past
To ideals
To how others see us
All suffering stems from clinging. As the Thero explains with the “diamond necklace” story, the more value you assign to something, the more it hurts to lose it.
5. Overvaluation Is the Root of Suffering
We assign value to everything—relationships, jobs, possessions. But the Buddha taught that all things are impermanent. Attaching value to impermanence guarantees suffering.
6. Final Answer: A 100% Success Rate for Any Life Choice
Whatever you choose—marriage or not—what matters is this:
“Always strive to purify your heart, in whatever life you live.”
That’s the key to success, according to the Buddha—not external conditions, but internal clarity.
Conclusion
Marriage is not an obligation
Decide based on your own mind, not others’
Both paths are valid grounds for spiritual growth
Regret comes from attachment, not from choice
True success lies in a pure and calm mind
No matter your path, ask yourself: Does this help me purify my heart? If the answer is yes, then your life is already a success.
